The Neverending Argument
by shinymetal
Summary: Who is the best hero: Batman or Spiderman, two very powerful (but childlike) entities will bet for they Champion. The Dark Knight will be sent to the Marvelverse and Spidey to the DCverse. CANCELLED
1. Chapter 1

**The Neverending Argument Chapter One**

In the vast emptiness of space, in a place where time it's just a possibility and not inevitability, two hyper-intelligent, fifth-dimensional and nearly all-powerful beings were engaged in an argument that could very well define the future of all universes.

"He can't."

"Yes he can."

"No he can't."

"YES HE CAN!"

"Shut up, just shut up already!"

Bat-Mite was deeply regretting the invite he sent his sister (now calling herself Spider-Maniac) to join his totally awesome Superhero Fan Club, she just wouldn't get it: Batman is the greatest superhero that is and not that lame spider-guy she keeps ranting about. Sometimes he even wondered how they could be related to each other since they didn't share even a common trait (Well except for the fact that they were both huge nerds and completely biased in their opinion about superheroes).

"Yours doesn't even have any powers, seriously bro, Spidey could wipe the floor with your guy without even breaking a sweat." she said with a smirk.

"Puh-lease, Batman has taken the whole justice down by himself, and need I remind you that it includes Superman. How can you expect that clown to beat him." He retorted.

"Yeah well…Spidey beats the Sinister Six like all the time and alone also."

"Pfft! Did you seriously just compared the Justice League to that bunch of losers." now the smirk was on his face.

"Never mind Webs is still the coolest."

At this point Bat-Mite was rubbing his eyes. He didn't want to keep this up so he came with an idea.

"Look, there's a simple way of solving this. We just make them fight each other and whoever wins is the best."

"I don't want to do that, that has been done like a billion times already" she complained. "I think we should do something different."

"Like what?"

And there it was again that face his sister loves to make, a face that says I'm-better-and-smarter-than-you-at-everything.

"Why don't we swap them?"

"HELL NO! I'd never give you Batman, plus he's worth at least a hundred bug-boys."

"That's not what I meant. Why don't we make Spidey and the Bat-creep swap universes and see who fares better?"

"Hmmm" He hated to admit it (Mainly because she would keep on reminding him that it was her idea) but that was actually a great plan.

"OK" He agreed.

"But we should make it a bet."

"What do you got in mind?" She asked.

"The Loser (That's you) will write a eight billion words essay explaining how the winner's (That's' me) hero is the best, oh, and also will have to do the dishes FOR ALL ETERNITY."

"Deal?"

"Deal."

Then they shook hands thus sealing the fate of both heroes.

* * *

 **THE BAT**

In his thirteen years of as a vigilante Batman has seen everything, from Shape-shifting Martians to an island populated by fierce amazons and let's not forget a giant starfish with telepathy. But now for the first time in his life he felt really confused. Just a moment ago he was fighting killer croc outside of the ACE Chemicals factory in Gotham and now he was 250ft above the ground plummeting to his death. He was also on a different city (New York he thought after a quick glance) and there was a costumed man on top of a glider that zoomed past him all while laughing like a maniac (This laugh sent shivers down his spine, it was too much like joker's).He shot his grappling gun at the glider and used the momentum from the pull to swing onto a rooftop, then he took a closer look at the man. He was wearing a tattered orange cloak above a chainmail shirt and had a demonic looking mask with fiery eyes and needle-sharp teeth. The mask looked back at him seemingly un-amused.

"Where's the sspider?" he hissed.

Batman shook his head."Don't know what tour talking about"

"Ssspider-man where is he?" He asked again while grabbing two pumpkin shaped bombs from his pouch.

"Last chance. Tell me where Spider-man or I'll have to splatter your guts all over this building.

I have to try and get information from this guy, best to capture him conscious. Batman train of thought was already running through all the possible scenarios and picking the best way to take him down.

"I WARNED YOU!" Said Hobgoblin while speeding his glider towards Batman and throwing the pumpkin bombs at the vigilante. Unfazed the Dark Knight threw two batarangs at the bombs which exploded mid-air obscuring the villain's sight with a cloud of smoke, and then he activated one short range EMP emitter from his utility belt thus disabling the glider and sending hobgoblin crashing into the roof. Not wasting a second Batman jumped on the villain and cuffed him (Using the reinforced cuffs just in case this lunatic was a meta). He then dragged the villain over to the ledge of the building lifting him on one hand.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Hobgoblin and you just make a great mistake newbie". Then he opened his mouth and a high pitch scream came out forcing Batman to drop him as he felt a searing pain taking over his senses. A few seconds later Hobgoblin was already mounted on his glider and flying away.

"When I get this thing out" He said nodding to the cuffs "I'm going to be back for you, and you're going to regret this day". He said before disappearing.

Batman didn't register the threat as he had got all the information he needed:

-It's Daytime in New York but in Gotham was Night.

-This guy didn't know Batman which was strange as he was a founding member of the Justice League.

-He never heard of Spiderman or Hobgoblin (And Batman kept track of every known hero and villain)

-He couldn't contact oracle or the Bat-cave.

Dam it, he thought, I'm in another dimension.

* * *

 **The Spider**

A body in motion will maintain it's motion until met with a force. Peter Parker knew this law of physics by heart being a science geek and all-around nerd. But he was still surprised when his very fast motioning body met with the tremendous force of Killer Croc's fist appearing out of nowhere and sending him crashing into a wall.

Waylon Jones wasn't a cunning man but even him couldn't help but notice that suddenly the Bat had transformed into a young man currently flat against a wall and dressed in a not to discreet fashion. Waylon didn't care, all the best for him, now he won't have to fight the bat to deliver the drugs and get paid. He was slowly making his way to the sewers when he heard a thwip and was spun around to face the aforementioned man in a weird crouching position.

"Hey ugly, I didn't say you could leave."

* * *

A/N: Hey there, this is my first fic and I know that it will probably will be ridden with mistakes, mainly cuz english is not my native language. But anyway feel free to criticize, after all I cant get better if I dont learn from my mistakes.

Also nex chapters will be twice as long as this one and will alternate characters: first Spidey, then Batman, then Spidey again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own neither Batman nor Spiderman**

* * *

"Hey ugly, I didn't say you could leave."After saying this spidey shot two web lines at the hulking reptile's shoulders and pulled, sending croc stumbling towards him and kicking him in the face. Crocs roared in anger and moved forward to grab Spiderman but the hero simply back flipped and shot a web into the beast's eyes.

"First you punched me and then you want to give me a hug. I think you may have a bipolar disorder" Croc bite at the place the voice was coming from but the hero had already ducked and punched him at the gut. "Or maybe you just want a snicker, who knows?"Croc pulled the webs from his eyes and lunged at spidey swiping his razor sharp claws at him but to no avail as Spiderman just dodge every blow with ease while faking a yawn."Stand still!" croc screamed in rage as he simply couldn't touch the red and blue hero. "Wow you can talk! That's a new one. I always tough you reptile-people weren't great conversationalist" The beast roared again and continued its assault. "And again I'm proved right."

Despite the fact that he was teleported to who-knows-where and that he was immediately attacked by a Lizard wannabe, spidey had to admit that he was rather enjoying himself. It was always fun to fight new villains (even if the lacked the basic intelligence to form complete sentences). But he still needed to find where he was, so he decided to end the fight already and start looking for answers. He jumped over croc and landed on its back sticking himself at it with his feet. Then he shot two webs to a wall and web-zipped at it crushing croc between his feet and the aforementioned wall. When croc felled to the ground knocked out cold and spidey secured him with his web the crowd of people watching the fight roared and applauded, spidey turned to them and said in an awful imitation of a TV celebrity "Crickey, it looks like we got ourselves a big fat one." He shot a web to the nearest building and disappeared into the city.

* * *

Nightwing was perched on top of a gargoyle brooding (After all his mentor was like the world champion at this) and looking at the city he grew up in, he hadn't been in Gotham since Barbara was shot a couple of months ago and he felt like a jerk for not being there for her. Truth be told since their breakup things hadn't been the same between them (In fact it was one of the main reasons he went to Bludhaven and started his solo career in crime fighting) and the fact that she and Kory were such good friends just make things all the more awkward. He only came here because Batman asked him to come help him discuss some issues with the league and he'd been avoiding Barbara ever since. What could he tell her anyways? "Sorry for being such and a-hole to you, oh, and also for the whole you being paraplegic deal."No he didn't now what to say an thus he was brooding and hoping some criminal would be stupid enough to try something tonight. He was pulled from this train of thought when he received a call trough his secure line.

"Nightwing here" he said.

"Nightwing we have a situation" a female voice he knew all too well said on the phone.

"Barbara?"

"It's Oracle now." She corrected him.

"Look, I'm…" Nightwing started.

"Don't…; we have more pressing matters to attend." She interrupted. Her voice was cold and distant.

"Batman's missing"

"What?"

"He just disappeared, went off the grid."

"That doesn't sound like Bru…Wait a minute. That totally sounds like him."Nightwing said.

"Have you tried contacting the League?"

"I have, they don't know where he is either:"

"What was his last known location?" Nightwing asked.

"Just outside Ace Chemicals"

"On it." He said and leaped from the roof.

* * *

Now that the cold breeze filled his lungs as he swung above the street Spidey felt like he could address the problem at hand. Where was he? And how did he got here? He glanced at the city trying to spot a Landmark that would tell him where he was. "Wayne Enterprises" he muttered "Never heard of them." Gotham's Gazette? Gotham? He hadn't heard of that city before, but his strong suit was science not geography. As he continued to swing aimlessly from building to building he spotted a man wearing a black suit of armor with a blue bird logo on the chest and a domino mask covering his face. The man was signaling him to come down, he dropped down on the roof right in front of the man and greeted him.

"Hi there, huh, hum…bird…dude?"

"It's Nightwing. Who are you?"

"I'm your friendly neighbor Spiderman, but most people just call me Spidey… or Annoying."

A slight smile formed on Nightwing's lips. "You must be new. How on earth did you convince Batman to let you operate in Gotham?"

Spiderman laughed. "Huh? Buddy I'm been doing this for ten years. Besides, who's that Batman? And why should I ask for his blessing."

"How can you not know about Batman?" Nightwing looked at the colorful vigilante in shock.

"He's a founding member of the Justice League"

"What's the Justice League?" Spidey asked. Nightwing was looking at him now with his eyes wide open.

"They're Earth's greatest heroes!" He was now shouting.

"Ah, you mean the Avengers. Though I've never heard anyone calling them the Justice League."

"What now?" Nightwing was thoroughly confused.

"You know: Thor, Iron man, Ant-man, She-Hulk?"

"Never heard of those guys before."

It was then that Spidey realized what had happened to him. "No, nonononnoononono...No! This can't be happening, not again."

"¡ WHY DOES THIS CRAP KEEPS HAPPENING TO ME!" He punched the wall leaving a crater the size of a manhole cover. Nightwing adopted a battle stance and slowly approached him.

"Dude, calm down. What's the matter?" Nightwing asked in a soothing tone. Spiderman looked at his eyes and said: "I think I'm from another dimension."

* * *

In a dark room, surrounded by monitors, Barbara Gordon was sulking and feeling useless. She was sick and tired of everyone she knew looking at her with pity: Bruce, her father, Tim, Kara, Kory. At least Dick hadn't said how sorry he was yet, and she wasn't going to let him. He'd been acting like a douchebag but she preferred he did that and not what everyone else was doing. Her legs weren't working and she knew there was no way she could return to fight crimes on the streets, but the least she could do was to provide tech support. She leaned forward and called Dick.

"Nightwing, there are people calling the police about a vigilante wearing red and blue spandex, they said he tossed killer croc around like a ragdoll. He apparently appeared just after Batman vanished. Be careful, he's probably a meta.

"Dude, did you seriously beat killer croc." She heard over the speaker.

"You mean that big, ugly, scaly designer purse. Yep, it was me" another voice said.

"Wait, you're with him?" Barbara asked.

"Yes, I'm taking him to the cave."

"You're doing what?" she yelled.

"Look, red, trust me, I'll explain everything when we get there."

"Fine." She said "But if Batman finds out…when Batman finds out, I'm throwing you under the bus."

* * *

15 minutes earlier

"OH MY GOSH! Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! This is so coooool!" The little being dressed in a batman costume was hovering all around Nightwing, poking him and taking pictures. Nightwing had heard of him before, Batman told him he was a real nuisance. That was definitely the understatement of the century.

"You're so cool. I mean you're not Batman but stiiill." The imp said.

"What are you doing here?" Nightwing asked gruffly.

"Oh right." The little being looked at Spiderman.

"SPIDERMAN! You're hereby informed that you had been selected to compete against *adoring sigh* Batman, in a test to prove which one of you is the greatest hero of all realities *cough*Batman*cough*. The winner will be decided upon completing feats of both heroic and daring nature."

"What?" Spiderman asked not believing what he just had heard.

"You mean to tell me that I was sent here to be part of a stupid game."

"It's not stupid." Bat-Mite pouted.

"Besides, once the winner is decided you'll both return to your respective universes, no harm done."

"OH, I get it's all right then, I mean it's not like I have a family, or a job, or a bunch of deranged lunatics trying to harm me trough the ones I love." Spiderman was at this point trying to keep his cool.

"Not my problem." Bat-Mite said and disappeared with a *puff* sound.

Nightwing approached to him "Hey, it's going to be alright."

"Come, I'll take you to the cave"

"Cave? What cave?" Spidey asked.

"The Bat-Cave" Nightwing answered his question with a wide grin.

* * *

 **A/N: I honestly didn't think I'd have the chapter ready by now, but it jus kinda wrote itself.**

 **Again if you like this story or you have some constructive criticism that can help me improve please leave a review.**

 **Next chapter won't have any fighting scenes, it'll just be Batman doing some good ol' fashion detectivying.**

 **I just realized after posting this chapter that I've commited the most horrendous crime an author can: Deus ex Machina and also I went a little OOC with Spidey's tantrum.**


End file.
